


Steven Universe and Jupiter Jones : Crystal Gems Ascending

by Micte



Category: Jupiter Ascending (2015), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, comedy? sure, i would say it's a parody but we took it quite seriously, not exactly but almost, star wars style, whatsapp transcription
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3932416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Micte/pseuds/Micte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation about SU and JA headcanons with my best friend gets out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steven Universe and Jupiter Jones : Crystal Gems Ascending

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a transcription of a kinda long whatsapp conversation with my best friend. I asked him how did he think a crossover between JA and SU would work...and then it just happened.

**Liz:** So for a manip I was thinking of using "stronger than you" with Jupiter and Balem...

**Eliot:** ...

 **Liz:** you know that "I won’t let you hurt my planet, I wont let you hurt my friends" part...?

 **Eliot:** ok, it fits.

 **Liz:** yes... but you don’t like the crossover idea...

 **Eliot:** ...

 **Liz:** let me tell you it wasn’t me. Someone on tumblr asked how would it be if the Gems were in the same universe as Jupiter, but actually I couldn't picture it. Do you have any thoughts?

 **Eliot:** it can’t

 **Liz:** explain?

 **Eliot:** both canons go against each other.

 **Liz:**  continue...

 **Eliot:**  the incursion of the gem homeworld in earth 5k years ago would be seen as a direct offense or an act of war even to the Abrasax family. Then it would be weird for them to had not taken action and let the whole war resolve as an inner conflict between gems. 

 **Liz:**  ok I see your point but that’s if the gems invade earth. What if they didn’t, what if both species just existed in the same universe. Imagine they don’t find the empty earth but instead they meet the humans of Orus, a complete developed society. Would humans try to conquer them like they did with the Sargons and Keepers? Or vice versa? 

 **Eliot:**  but they did invade earth...

 **Liz:**  yes, but I'm talking about an AU. Humor me, please...  

 **Eliot:**  ok, I'll humor you... 

 **Liz:**  just forget the earth...

 **Eliot:**  I don't think there would be a war, both species, Orus' humans and the gems would see each other as business rivals. Both of them would acknowledge each other's technology. And their methods are quite similar. Humans make the luxurious Regenx while considering the gems a nuisance, because they have their own harvesting of a planet with projects like kinder garden. 

 **Liz:** yeah. Oh my god, this au!

 **Eliot:** when the gems leave, the planet would be “infertile” and therefore, useless for Orus. It wouldn’t be habitable. But when Orus uses a planet it makes sure it can be recycled. They would see each other as wasteful because for the Gems Regenx is a luxury. And the gems cannot recycle a planet ‘cuz they need the ground. They are BORN from it, so the gems and humans have their weird capitalism going on. For the gems is more like traditionalist idealism and the humans its neoliberalism. Characters like the Crystal Gems would be considered as communists. Rose Quartz is the Che Guevara from space.

 **Liz:** NOW I want a Star Wars kinda AU where the improbable named Jupiter Jones and Steven Universe unite forces to defend the Earth from the Gems and Orus.

 **Eliot:** yeah… nope.

 **Liz:** but Jupiter and Steve got awesome names I need them on the front cover of anything.

 **Eliot:** they’re on the front cover of their movie / show. And I don’t know how the star wars things would work…

 **Liz:** I just mean the star wars style you know? Action scenes and politics, no Jedi knithgs.

 **Eliot:** ok, your message was confusing.

 **Liz:** sorry

 **Eliot:** …

 **Liz:** …

 **Eliot:** ok, so Steven lives in Beach Planet…

 **Liz:** huh?

 **Eliot:** where he has a calm life

 **Liz:**    J

 **Eliot:** which he’s actually ok with. But then an android crashes where he receives a stress signal from princess governor Jupiter

 **Liz:** Im smiling like an idiot

 **Eliot:** she and her Honor Guard, Caine, were captured after some negotiations go hostile and a coup d’état begins. The message was supposed to be for the Aegis but now is Steven’s work to deliver.

 **Liz:** ohmywizardgod

 **Eliot:** so he goes to his dad and his adoptive moms and they think this it is fate, so they reveal they’re the descendants of the Order of the Crystal Gems and it is their duty to help with this regardless of the possible political implications, but first they have to get out of Beach Planet, but they don't have a way.

 **Liz:** what are the implications of a group of Gems helping an Entitled? And a rebel one! Are they going to piss everyone off?

 **Eliot:** the Gems are supposed to be neutral. Them taking sides led to the destruction of the Gem Homeworld and now gems live as refugees in other planets.

 **Liz:** *** x *** so how are they getting out of Beach Planet?

 **Eliot:** Lucky for Steven, he’s friends with the Cool Kids on Beach Planet and they take him to where the Intergalactic Derby takes place. He can’t pay any of the runners but one of them catches a word of what he’s saying: Stinger Apini, rider of the Millenial Bee and his daughter Kiza. They offer to help, since he claims that he and Honor Guard Caine go way back.

 **Liz:** *inner screaming*

 **Eliot:** they notice they can’t just leave the system.

 **Liz:** WHY NOT?

 **Eliot:** spies are already taking position on the galaxy so they keep going with the Derby. You go through a series of planets during a single race.

 **Liz:** fuck yeah, Interplanetary Derby!

 **Eliot:** the plan is to compete until the last checkpoint and then they will be far enough to escape the racecourse.

 **Liz:** and then?

 **Eliot:** the thing is that this option lets them outside of the spies’ operation area but also further away from the Aegis.

 **Liz:** so they’re the only rescue party D:

 **Eliot:** with time running low this ragteam of heroes: Stinger and Kiza, ex Skyjackers now turned clandestine racers, the remains of the Order of the Crystal Gems, Steven, a gem in training, along with his really confused dad, have to rescue Jupiter and Caine.

 **Liz:** Im loving this. Please tell me who captured the Princess and her Guard, and why???

 **Eliot:** it was an ambush

 **Liz:** * yes! *

 **Eliot:** led by corporate and political rival Titus Abrasax

 **Liz:** the little shit

 **Eliot:** he had been bribing a good portion of the galactic council. Not the majority but the richer ones. They weren’t happy with Princess Governor Jupiter’s humanitarian politics since day one.

 **Liz:** and what’s their plan? What are they doing to them?

 **Eliot:** They of course had enough money to buy themselves an army and a significant number of bounty hunters. Since Jupiter is only “Princess Governor” for now, she has to be ascended to Queen Jupiter. The politics in this universe dictate that at least 12 sentient species of entitled have to DNA test that she’s the rightful recurrence. So far, Jupiter has 11 recognitions. It’s sad that the representatives of Orus don’t acknowledge her but that’s only a business strategy, since “true humans” have the vilest of industries. There are of course “lesser” free humans spread in the galaxy, like Greg and Steven, but they are considered third-rate citizens.

 **Liz:** like splices?

 **Eliot:** and Steven is not considered better than a splice.

 **Liz:** why? D:

 **Eliot:** ‘cuz he’s only half human.

 **Liz:** because of his gem dna?

 **Eliot:** yup

 **Liz:** ‘cuz he’s half mineral? Half organic?

 **Eliot:** hahahaha yes

 **Liz:** why are you laughing? It’s true!

 **Eliot:** “half mineral”, sorry.

 **Liz:** and a wild one since he wasn’t engineered…

 **Eliot:** So, while on heir travels they are chased by an amalgam of bounty hunters…

 **Liz:** yeah…

 **Eliot:** one that stands out is a group of gems turned bounty hunters…

 **Liz:** fuck

 **Eliot:** Jasper, Peridot, and Lapis Lazuli

 **Liz:** why Lapis??? Why????

 **Eliot:** Lapis is the reluctant one. She had no other option, life as a refugee is horrible.

 **Liz:** =(

 **Eliot:** not everybody is well received like the gems in Beach Planet. That was quite the oddity.

 **Liz:** are they working for Titus too?

 **Eliot:** they are freelancers, but really motivated by money.

 **Liz:** =(

 **Eliot:** Japer and Peridot take it personal when Stinger pulls some awesome escapes a couple of times and even more so when she discovers that Gems are on board. It’s been little less than 2 weeks when they reach the space station where Jupes and Caine are held “captive”

 **Liz:** my babies D: babies rescuing babies in this baby space adventure

 **Eliot:** truth is that Caine pulled a Houdini and has been fighting the guards for 48 hours straight before the Millennial Bee arrived

 **Liz:** BABY ! give him a blanket ! Steven would tots give him a blanket!

 **Eliot:** By the time Steven and company arrive Jupiter has managed to hotwire a carrier zero where she and Caine hardly fit but is not equipped for real combat.

 **Liz :** xD

 **Eliot:** So they send tiefighters after them

 **Liz:** Dx

 **Eliot:** but the crew only takes notice when they’ve already boarded the station. All the mess that Caine did was the only thing in the first place that let them infiltrate so smoothly. When they are about to head back and chase Caine and Jupes, Jasper and company crashes the party. Literally.

 **Liz:** God no

 **Eliot:** They know this would void their contract, but Jasper doesn’t really care, Stinger hurt her pride.

 **Liz:** that cheeto puff D: <

 **Eliot:** That action is a double edged sword: Jasper and Co continue to provide the distraction that Caine started, preventing the station to send reinforcements to chase Jupes but they wont let the Steven crew go either.

 **Liz:** the rescue party is captured. I can hear 10 screaming: “worst rescue evah!”

 **Eliot:** the Gems take it to amend for Jasper’s doing

 **Liz:** * ‘stronger than you’ starts playing *

 **Eliot:** They offer, against Steven’s wishes, to be left behind and fight the bounty hunter gems and Titus’ army. Meanwhile Steven, Stinger, Kiza and Greg go after Jupiter and Caine. The Millenial Bee catches up with them and Caine has fainted after 2 whole days of fighting. Jupes has been driving and doing her best since they left the space station. During the spar, the Millenial Bee acts as a shield for Jupiter’s craft, which leaves a hole in it and the Bee starts failing. The emergency shutters aren’t working and the void of space starts sucking everything out. When the void pulls Steven he remembers the Gem’s teachings and activates his bubble, effectively sealing the hole. The naïve soldiers don’t know what is happening but they try to shoot to a “point blank” Steven. The bubble deflects everything, taking down some tiefighters. This gives Stinger enough room to go after Jupiter and Caine. Once they’re on board Stinger and Kiza can start a counter attack. Although the Bee is damaged they dispose of the tiefighters with mastery. Meanwhile, Greg is repairing the shutters to finally let Steven out of the bubble, but there is no time to rest. They tell Jupes that the Gems stayed back and she won’t have an already dwindling species die for her. As bad as they are now, they go back. It has been roughly 30 minutes but the space station is in way worse shape than when they left. They wanted to board again but a signal from Pearl tries to warn them.

 **Liz:** what happened??

 **Eliot:** THE STATION EXPLODES

 **Liz:** WHAT???? Fuck u D:

 **Eliot:** Hey, I’m not done yet.

 **Liz:** Sorry. Keep going. Are the Crystal Gems all right?

 **Eliot:** You better be, because Steven wakes up in an unknown room. It’s all made of rock carving. Seems underground.

 **Liz:** No. Nonononono. Is he in the Kinder Garden?

 **Eliot:** The hallways are like a maze. He wanders off a bit, feeling alone.

 **Liz:** oh, ok. * sigh * Though, we’re not making a maze runner crossover, right?

 **Eliot:** Ok, I guess I have to clarify that the place was Kinder Garden.

 **Liz:** FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. You gave me hope. How dare you?

 **Eliot:** But is so empty…

 **Liz:** WHY IS MY BABY IN THERE?

 **Eliot:** He stumbles into a large hall. He’s astonished: more Gems than he ever saw, hundreds in that hall. They are all talking, writing, working and joking. They don’t even notice him. Garnet grabs him before he faints and explains to Steven that inside the station they managed to reach to Jasper. They explained the situation and how it was the right thing to help Jupiter. Jasper, in exchange, told them about this: a small planet where some Kindergarden gems were left behind. Then some other gems found out and started rebuilding their world. Not out of ambition or spite, they just wanted a home. Jupiter, as a queen, could give them recognition and vice versa.

 **Liz:** woooooooooooooooo

 **Eliot:** the gems, as a sentient species, declared they acknowledged Jupiter as the rightful recurrence of Seraphi Abrasax. In the same day they declared they were again a political entity owning a planet. The explosion at the station was a ruse to make Titus believe they were dead.

 **Liz:** I knew it!

 **Eliot:** Giving them the extra time to reach Jupiter’s political contacts, to make this go through. Space Lawyer Bob had the crusade of his life.

 **Liz:** poor thing xD

 **Eliot:** But this all went through somehow. Jupiter gained diplomatic immunity and extended it to the Gems. Now Jupiter is Queen and the Gems have a chance to rebuild their planet.

 **Liz:** Yay!

 **Eliot:** and the motherfucking END

 **Liz:** I cannot believe you wrote me a complete fanfiction. It was awesome.

 **Eliot:** I need breakfast

 **Liz:** can I share this on tumblr?

 **Eliot:** go, but tell them I’m grumpy and won’t do it again.


End file.
